The Truth
by msashlyjudd8
Summary: It was suppose to be Jake and Nessie's wedding day. What happens when Nessie comes up missing? What happened to send Nessie running for the hills-or the open road?
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: I'm sorry for those who have gotten this alert before. Fan fiction has been difficult lately. I had to take this down and re post it twice. I hope it works this time.

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><p>The wedding date had been set for ages. The dress bought, the tuxes rented, the rings chosen. The beautiful backyard wedding at Cullen mansion was set to unite two feuding supernatural family's, and peace would finally reign supreme.<p>

The daughter of vampire couple Edward, and Bella, was set to wed Jacob Black-Alpha of the La Push wolves. This day was truly going to make history. Or was it?

Nessie POV

Tears stung my eyes and rolled down my cheeks as I drove. My heart, even as broken as it was, pounded against my ribcage. I had to get as far away from Forks Washington as possible. Alice couldn't see me with her visions, so I hoped if I drove fast and far enough my family wouldn't be able to find me. I wanted to be alone. I needed to think.

The words Leah said to me were still fresh in my mind, along with the smug smile on her face.

_I had just left the house for a quick hunt before I had to __start__ getting dressed for the wedding. I was fallowing a herd of deer when suddenly something hard slammed into my side, knocking me off my feet. My body hit the ground hard and rolled a couple times. With a grunt I finally landed on my back. My breathing was labored as I tried to get my equilibrium back. Standing to my feet I looked around trying to find out what had hit me. And, then I caught her scent._

"_You should really be more careful. Wouldn't want the vampire princess to get hurt on her __wedding day__."_

_Leah Clearwater, walked out from behind a tree. She stood barefoot, with dirty jean shorts and a white __tank top__. The sneer on her face was something I had come to expect from her. Leah hated my family but she absolutely detested me. She was convinced that I was forcing Jacob to marry me._

"_Leah, I don't want to fight with you today. Jacob asked me to marry him because he loves me. I am not forcing him to marry me, and neither is my family."_

_I didn't want to be angry on my wedding day, but Leah needed to get over her hatred and accept that Jacob did actually love me. Part of me wondered of she had feelings for Jacob, but whenever I asked him about it, he just smiled and assured me that Leah was just a bitter harpy, and to ignore her. _

"_Let me ask you something princess," She said walking closer. "Have you ever wondered why your father hates Jacob so much?"_

_My dad hates Jacob? Since when?_

"_What the hell are you talking about Leah? My father doesn't hate Jacob. He saved me and my mother when Sam and his pack tried to kill us."_

_Leah began to chuckle and shake her head, like I was a child who just didn't understand._

"_Wow, you really don't know anything do you? I'm a little surprised that mommy and daddy would let you marry Jacob, before you know the whole story."_

_I was getting frustrated and confused. I had no idea what she was talking about. What had my family kept from me?_

"_What the hell are you talking about Leah?, What don't I know? Make it fast, I have a wedding to get __dressed for."_

_She almost looked sad as she lowered herself to sit on the ground. Her right hand reached out to pat the ground in front of her._

"_Have a seat Princess, I've got a story to tell you and it might take a while."_

It was a twisted tale of blood soaked birthday parties, and my mother's broken heart after my father left her. She told me of Jacob and my mother's close friendship and, just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, she told me of the love Jacob and my mother shared.

In my father's absence, Jacob and my mother fell in love. A rushed trip to stop my dad from killing himself resulted in them getting back together. Jacob was heartbroken, but he fought for her. He forced himself on her at one point, and after my dad purposed to my mother, Jacob quilted her into kissing him. Who does that? I didn't know him at all.

Jacob loved and pined over my mother even after she married my dad. When she became pregnant with me, both Jacob and my father wanted to kill me. Jacob was actually on the way to kill me when he Imprinted.

I sat completely still on the forest floor as, Leah, slowly tore my heart from my chest. She knew what telling me all of this would do, and she enjoyed every second of it. I wanted to hate her for it, but in my heart, I knew it was all true. My whole life was built on broken hearts and hate. Jacob didn't choose to love me, he was forced to love me because the wolf gene told him he had too. Leah had been right all along. Everyone I ever loved or trusted had lied and kept things from me.

When she was finished tearing my world apart, and hot salty tears were spilling down my cheeks, she stood up-brushed herself off and phased. I'm sure she probably laughed the whole way back to La Push.

I don't know how long I sat there or how I made it to my car without alerting my family, but I knew I had to get away. It was still very early and Jacob was sleeping in the guest room upstairs. The house was full of vampires from around the country, all in town for my wedding. I had to thank god that my dad was probably too distracted with our guests to notice my slipping away. I didn't know where I was going to go, but I couldn't stay there.

I needed to think fast. I wanted to go somewhere where nobody could find me. First though I needed money and a new car. I knew once the family discovered that I was gone, they would have someone looking for my car. It was a beautiful navy blue BMW, and the whole family presented it to me for my birthday last year. It was my pride and joy and I would miss it. Before leaving Forks, I stopped at the bank and closed out my checking account. My parents had set it up for me once I got engaged to Jacob. I wanted to be more independent and even though I couldn't get a job, a monthly allowance was deposited from the Cullen family account.

I walked out of the bank with a little over twenty thousand dollars. I didn't want to carry that much cash on me, but I had no other choice until I got somewhere where I could open another account. A few hours later, I ended up in Olympia. It was just after noon, and I knew by now the family was probably frantic searching for me. I needed to get rid of my car before it was reported missing. Driving around town I found the first "Used" car lot and traded my brand new car for a shiny red pickup truck. It made me think of the stories Rosalie used to tell me about my mother's "ugly" red pickup she used to drive. It made me smile.

After stopping at the gas station to fill up the truck, and stocking up on snack food, I was on the road headed south. I had no destination in mind, I just wanted to drive and think. My body was running on auto pilot. I was driving, but not really seeing anything. Tears clouded my eyes every time I thought about Jacob. The thought of him waking up and finding me gone broke my heart. My parents would search for me, but my scent would only lead them back to the house where I got in my car.

I hated what I was going to put them through,but they had all lied to me. They all told me I was a miracle child, when the truth was that my father never wanted me and I almost killed my mother. Jacob, who loved and cherished me every day and made me feel special-never really loved me until magic told him he had too. I didn't want to be with someone who was forced to love me. His choice had been taken away from him, and I couldn't allow him to live like that.

Even if I could get over all the lies and imprinting, I would always wonder in the back of my mind if Jacob, really loved me or if he settled for me because my mother chose to love my dad.

Where did that leave me? A heartbroken half breed, alone, wondering around the country. Could I survive? Who knows, but I was going to try.

Jacob POV

The sun shining through the floor to ceiling windows was kind of annoying. Would it kill Esme to add some curtains? It was a little hard to stay asleep with the sun shining right in my eyes. I briefly thought of pulling the blanket up over my head and going back to sleep, until I remembered that it was my wedding day and Renesmee Cullen would finally be my wife.

It had taken ten years, and a lot of drama, but finally we were going to make it official. I couldn't wait to see Nessie walk down the isle. The last six months has been filled with wedding plans,and shopping and way to many tux fittings for my liking. I think Alice and Renesmee just liked to torture me. I would moan and wine every time they made me try on a new tux, but I would do almost anything to make her smile, so in the end it would all be worth it.

I decided it was time to get up and face the world. Maybe I would sneak in and wake Nessie up. Alice told us we couldn't see each other until the wedding, but I bet if I were really quiet I could make it. Slipping out of bed, I pulled on a t shirt and shorts. Walking to the bathroom I took care of business and brushed my teeth. I could hear rustling downstairs, and the opening and closing of doors. The whole house reeked from all of the out of town vamps. I had mostly grown used to the scent, but with such a high concentration in one place still stung my nose.

Tip toeing down the hall, I made it to Nessie's room with no problem. I opened the door with a smile hoping to see her still sleeping. When I found her bed empty I had to roll my eyes. Alice had probably had her up at the crack of dawn getting things set for the wedding. Accepting that I wouldn't see my Nessie until the wedding, I decided to go find some grub. Just as I thought, the whole main floor was full of Vamps. Edward and Bella sat on the couch talking with the blond ones from Alaska. I couldn't keep all the names straight. Carlisle and Esme were sitting at the dining room table talking with the dark haired ones from Alaska. I could see Jasper and Alice out in the back yard talking to a couple of vamps. I guess Jasper used to know them from down south or something. I think the guys name was Peter.

Rosalie and Emmett were sitting in the lounge area talking to the three freaky chicks from the amazon. Just looking at them freaked me out, but Nessie absolutely adored them. Emmett extended his fist for me to bump as I walked past, and I got the standard eye roll from Rose. That bitch was never going to like me, but we had come to some sort of truce. She simply didn't talk to me and I didn't talk to her and that's the way it was. If I didn't have to listen to her and Emmett go at it all hours of the day and night, I would say she needed to get laid. She was a bitch plain and simple. It didn't bother me, I had to deal with Leah on a daily basis.

Walking into the kitchen I had to smile. Esme had baked dozens of muffins and cut up lots of fresh fruit in preparation for all the wolves that would be invading the Cullen mansion today. Deciding on coffee and a banana, I pulled a cup from the cupboard and had just stuffed half the banana in my mouth when simultaneously the back door flung open and hit the wall with a bang, and the phone rang.

Seth, not seeing me standing in the kitchen ran through the house shouting my name. Carlisle stood to answer the phone as I walked back to the living room to see what the problem was.

"Edward, Where is Jake, I need to speak to him now," he almost shouted. "We may have a problem."

Edward and Bella were instantly on alert. They both stood, Edward was squinting as he tried to decipher Seth's thoughts. Bella walked forward and gently laid her hand on his shoulder.

"What's wrong, Seth?" She asked him very softly. Seth took two deep breaths trying to calm himself enough to speak.

"It's...um..Leah Sh-she did something really bad I think. Please, Bella, I need to find Jake. Where is he?" His hands were shaking and he was close to tears.

"Seth, calm down, I'm right here. What's the problem?" I said walking in the living room. The rest of the family fallowed me into the living room, except for Carlisle, who I could hear talking on the phone.

"JAKE!," Seth shouted running over to me. "It's Leah, She wasn't in her room when I woke up this morning, so I decided to phase to see if she was in the woods. When I phased she was just getting back to La Push. She...she," He stopped to take another deep breath. This was going to be bad, I could tell.

"She, what Seth?" I prodded him.

His eyes were shining when they looked back into mine. "She was just coming back from Forks. She found Nessie, out in the woods hunting, and she told her everything."

Oh god.

Edward gasped. Bella turned to him, confused.

"What do you mean she told her everything, Seth?" I had a feeling I knew.

"She told her everything, Jake. Bella's 18th birthday party, Edward leaving, Edward trying to die, You and Edward wanting Bella to Abort, and...She told her about the Imprinting."

My knees gave out and hit the floor as my eyes closed.

Nessie, knew everything.

"Where is Nessie now,Seth?" Edward demanded.

"I don't know. After Leah told her everything she stood up and phased. Nessie was still sitting on the ground when Leah started to run home." Seth was calmer now. I couldn't fucking breath.

Standing to my feet, I noticed everyone was watching me. I had to do something. I turned and started for the back door, intending to phase and go find Nessie.

"I have to go find her, she's probably still out there in the woods. Seth, call the pack and tell them I need them to help me find her, and then come and join me."

Edward, and Bella, stood frozen. They weren't even breathing.

"Jacob," Carlisle, said my name walking into the living room. "You won't find Nessie, in the woods." his eyes were sad, and he looked resigned.

"Why not? Where is she?," I demanded.

"I don't know where she is, but I just got a call from the bank. The account that Edward, and Bella, set up for Nessie was closed out a few hours ago. Her monthly allowance tried to transfer into her account, but it had been closed. The Bank manager told me Nessie came in almost 4 hours ago and closed it out. I just checked the garage and her car is gone."

Edward, wrapped his arms around Bella, as she started to sob.

Nessie was gone. She left me.

"Wait, you all just got her that car last year. Does it have GPS? We might be able to find out where she is." I felt hope for just a second, before Carlisle again crushed me.

"I thought of that Jacob. I went online to see where her car was. It came up with a car lot in Olympus. I called and asked the owner of the lot if he had seen her car. He told me had. Evidently Nessie, came into the lot and traded her new car for a used one."

Why would she trade her new care for a used one? That didn't make sense.

"She doesn't want to be found." Edward whispered, his face buried in Bella's hair.

"I don't understand though, why would she trade her new car for a used one? That car isn't even a year old." I was confused.

"Think about it dog," Rosalie, spat at me. "She knew her car had GPS. She knew we would be able to track her to her car. Alice, can't see her. Get rid of the car, and we have no way to track her. She. Don't. Want. To. Be. Found. Get it now?"

I guess the truce was over. I never wanted to punch her so much in my life.

"Rose, your not helping," Carlisle admonished her.

I felt like my world had been ripped away.

Nessie was gone.

"Edward," Bella, said speaking for the second time since Seth, ran into the house. "We have to find her. She is still half human, She can get hurt. She has to sleep, she has to eat. That money won't last forever." She was starting to panic. Edward pulled her into his arms again.

"I know, love. She is just hurting right now. Don't worry, we'll find her."


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note: The music for this chapter is "The Reason" by Hoobastank. Enjoy.

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><p>"What is the use of having all these supernatural...People here if we can't find one fucking person?"<p>

The pained agony in Jacob's voice fallowed behind him as he threw the back door to the Cullen mansion open and stomped into the back yard. The house full of Vampires watched as Jacob exploded into brown fur just beyond the tree line. A heartbreaking howl could be herd for miles, but as all the Wolves stood in the Cullen house, they knew there was no danger.

**J POV**

My feet pounded in a broken rhythm against the forest floor as I ran. Two weeks had passed and Nessie, was still gone. All of the Cullen's money and contacts proved to be fruitless. Nessie, was out there somewhere and she didn't want to be found. Not one word for a whole two weeks and I was close to losing his mind. Edward, and Bella, looked at me with pity and I wanted to hate them for it, but I couldn't. Nessie, was their daughter and a member of my pack had driven her away.

I ran until I reached the spot that Nessie, had sat on the forest floor. The place that Leah had spilled all my secrets in. The very same place that I laid every single night, just so I could smell her scent again. As I found the exact spot where my love had sat, I phased and lay down on my back. The stars were bright against the dark sky, as tears slipped down the sides of my face. I found himself once again wishing to any God who would listen that Nessie, would come home.

As much as I wanted to be angry with Nessie, for taking off like she did, I couldn't. Leah, may have spilled all my secrets, but it was my fault for keeping them to begin with. I knew she would find out one day, I didn't expect it to be the day of our wedding. Granted I should have told her before I ever purposed, but I was afraid something like this would happen. Edward, and Bella, agreed that she needed to hear everything eventually, but it just wasn't time. Leah, clearly didn't agree.

The day Seth, turned up at the Cullen house and told us what Leah, had done I was livid. I wanted to run to La Push and strangle her, but only the calming influence of Jasper kept me from doing so. Sam, promised me that he would punish her after we found Nessie. Two weeks later Nessie, was still gone and Leah, was ordered not to phase and banned from coming to Forks. The reason for Leah's, betrayal was unclear. The only thing she would say was that Nessie, deserved to know the truth. She was right of course, but she deserved to find out from me or maybe her parents. What she didn't deserve was to have Leah, throw everything in her face without letting us explain.

Nessie, needed to know that I loved her. She needed to know that even though I wanted to kill her when she was a baby, that I don't think I could have actually gone through with it. She needed to know that I thought her mother was already dead. And, yes I had loved her mother at one time, but I don't have those feeling anymore. I just hoped that I got that chance.

As the sky began to lighten again, I stood to my feet and slowly made my way back toward the Cullen house. It had became my routine the last two weeks, I needed to feel close to her and so every night I would lay in the last place she had been. The loneliness was getting to me. Panic and grief were my daily emotions. I needed Nessie. I needed to hold her again, to smell her, to feel her. I don't care what the Wolf imprint means, I didn't feel complete when she wasn't here with me. The strange part was...I could feel her. I could feel that she was in pain, and I could even feel the anger. Carlisle, thinks I feel her because of my imprint. The elders on the rez agree.

I don't really care what anyone thinks. I just want her back. I wanted her to be my wife, and to spend out lives together. Edward, and Bella, are beside themselves with worry. For the first week they just held each other, but as the first week turned into two-they began to snap at each other. Bella, pretty much never left Nessie's, room. She curled herself into a ball on Nessie's, bed an refused to speak to anyone. Edward, tried to comfort her sometimes, but she didn't want comfort. She didn't want to be touched. So Edward, spent most of his time playing his piano.

As the house came into view, I phased back and slipped into the clothes that Alice, had left for me outside the back door. Just like every morning, Edward, sat at his piano playing a soft melody. Carlisle, was most likely in his office trying to find another lead. Emmett, Jasper, and Alice, sat in the lounge watching some news channel with the volume turned way down. Rosalie, was probably in the garage tinkering with one of the cars. Esme, was of course in the kitchen cooking for the pack members who hadn't left to patrol. I bypassed them all and walked upstairs to my room. It used to be the guest room, but I moved my stuff in once Nessie, and I got engaged. I didn't really have much stuff, just a few clothes and a stereo. On the night stand were the keys to my motor cycle and my cell phone. That was pretty much it for my belongings. It was just nice to have a space in the house where I could go to be alone.

Flopping down on the bed, I rolled over onto my back and stared at the ceiling. I hadn't slept in a couple days and it was starting to catch up to me. My eye lids were getting heavier the more I tried to keep them open. I had just given up the fight with my eyelids and let them close, when the phone on the night stand started to vibrate. My eyes refused to open again as my arm slowly reached for the phone. My thumb pried the flip phone open and with my eyes still closed, and sleep just on the cusp, I answered.

"...ello?" My voice was barely a whisper.

"Jake?"

My eyes flew open so fast the room spun. My body flew into a sitting position and my heart thundered against my ribcage.

"Nessie," I almost shouted into the phone. "Is that you?"

"Yes, it's me."

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><p><strong>Nessie POV:<strong>

"I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it."

Pacing back and forth in my hotel room, I fought with myself. After finally deciding to call Jacob, I was losing my nerve.

Two weeks away from my family and Jacob, has been the hardest time of my life. I spend most days either crying my eyes out, or so angry that my body shook with rage. Most days the only sound I hear is the roar of the engine. I can't bare to turn on the radio. The silence at times can get lonely, but mostly it's just comforting. The silence gives me time to think, to go over every part of my life and try and figure out what was a lie and what was actually true.

I have been told since birth that I was a miracle child. _Lie_. Clearly by 'miracle' they meant a demon child who almost killed my mother. What child break's their mother's bones? What child makes her human mother drink blood? I don't know how she even looks at me. I forced my father to change her into a vampire. My father has showed me nothing but love since birth, even though obviously it wasn't always that way. From the moment my father found out about me, he never wanted me. It hurts a lot to know that, but can I really blame him? Having something inside the love of your life that was slowly killing her, would make me feel the same way.

I can't ever remember a time without Jacob. When I was a child, I remember thinking of him as one of my fun uncles. I had a lot of them. Some were cold and pale, some were hot to the touch and tan. I loved them all, but Jacob, was always front and center. His smile made me happy and I was sad when he wasn't there. As I matured into my "Teen" years, my feelings for Jacob began to change. I began to notice his body, and every time he smiled or winked at me I began to blush. My heart would skip a beat every time he walked into the room.

I tried to fight my feelings at first. He was my, Jacob. Then one day things changed. We were walking on the beach one day and for some reason it felt awkward. Jacob, only had shorts on and his chest gleamed from the sun. His chest was a beautiful dark bronze color and for some reason I couldn't keep my eyes away from him. He caught me a couple times and would send me a knowing smile. I blushed and looked away, but as Jacob, took my hand and threaded his fingers with mine, our palms pressed together, I knew something was different.

This was when Jacob, should have told me everything. He should have told me about his relationship with my mother. He should have told me about the imprint. Jacob, took my hand and led me to a fallen log on the beach and asked me what I was feeling. He never once laughed at me, as I told him that I liked him more like a boyfriend, then a friend. He told me that I was beautiful and that he had feelings for me too. It was the day we shared our first kiss. It was magical and perfect...and a complete lie.

Whenever I try to think about Jacob, being in love with my mother, my brain totally shuts down. I can't even...remotely understand it. It's one thing to know that your fiance was once in love with someone else, its a whole other thing to know that person is your mother. It's just...Frankly, its just gross and I can't...I just can't.

Two weeks of driving with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company and I was going a little crazy. The freedom was wonderful, and the sights were beautiful, but nothing could take the place of my family. And even though I knew Jacob, and I were over, it didn't stop me from missing him. I still loved him, and I hated myself for that. I missed my parents even though I know I don't deserve too. I have caused them enough pain and now I just want them to be happy. I missed them all so much it physically ached.

I was half way across the state of Nebraska before I decided I would call Jacob one last time, just to say goodbye. I wanted them to know that I was okay. I drove until I was low on gasoline, and then I took the next exit into the city of Lincoln. Compared to Forks it was was huge. The sun was beginning to set and I was feeling kind of tired and hungry, so I decided to find a hotel for the night. Luckily I found a hotel across the street from a Walmart store. I had never been into one, but I knew I could probably find a disposable phone and pick up some more supplies for the road.

I parked my truck in the hotel parking lot and walked across the street. An hour later I walked out of walmart with almost a thousand dollars less than before I went in. I had intended to pick up a phone, some sandals and maybe some snacks for the road. What I ended up with was: A phone, a lap top, three pairs of shorts, four shirts, flip flops, Shampoo, conditioner, a new brush, one giant bag of sunflower seeds, a bag of chocolate kisses and a duffel bag to put everything in when I was ready to get back on the road.

I felt like a pack mule carrying it all across the street. Thankfully the nice man who checked me into the hotel helped me carry them up to my room on the fourth floor. Inside the room, I had him put the bags on one of the two beds. With a generous tip he went on his way and I was alone again. Exhaustion was beginning to set in, and I didn't feel like dragging everything out just then. Instead I decided on a nice hot shower.

I did end up looking through the bags for one of my new t-shirts. It was bright red with a big white "N" on the front. I asked the cashier what the N stood for and she told me it stood for "Nebraska", evidently Lincoln was a big football town and red and white were the school colors. I didn't care what the shirt meant, I just knew it was soft on my skin and it was long enough to wear to bed. Crawling into bed, I was asleep before my head hit the pillow. Jacob would have to wait until tomorrow.

The morning brought a surprisingly overcast day to Nebraska. It seemed the weather knew it was about to be an angst filled morning. As I paced the hotel room in my new red shirt, the newly activated phone screamed at me to just make the call. I had been arguing with myself for hours. It felt almost like I was admitting defeat. Hadn't I run to get away from everyone? Why would I then call them? I didn't understand why I needed to make the call. Maybe I just needed to hear Jacob's, voice one more time. Maybe I wanted him to beg me to come home. The little voice in the back of my head was telling me that I missed them, and that I didn't want to be alone anymore.

Finally I crawled back in bed and buried myself under the soft quilt. It was warm and quiet and I felt safe. My fingers dialed the numbers without even having to look, And then it was ringing. One ring. Two rings. Three rings.

"...ello?"

Jacob.

He sounded so tired. It broke my heart all over again.

"Jake?"

A sudden gasp of breath and whirl of movement could be heard over the speaker.

"Nessie," Jacob shouted. "Is that you?"

I almost hung up. I couldn't stand to have Jacob, hurting because of me.

"Yes, it's me."

There were two beats of silence before his pained voice answered back.

"Oh god," Jacob breathed. "Baby, where the hell are you? Where have you been? Are you okay? Please, Nessie, say something. I have been going crazy without you."

With each question Jacob's, voice grew higher and higher. He was starting to panic and it was because of me. Tears prickled my eyes and slid down the side of my face. He sounded just as lost as I was.

"Jake," I sobbed from under the blanket. "Please...calm down."

"Baby, I know you are angry with me and I am so sorry. Please tell me where you are, and I will come and get you. I have been so worried about you."

I knew he was going to say that, and I also knew it would make him angry when I refused. I chose to ignore the question all together. He sounded like he was half asleep when he answered, which meant that he was at the my house. The probability that my family were all now standing in the same room was very likely.

"How is everyone?" I asked hoping to distract him from trying to figure out where I was.

"We all miss you, Nessie. It's been really hard not knowing where you are, or if you were alright. I am so glad you finally called. Please tell me where you are so your father and I can come and get you and bring you home. I can't wait to see you. I know that I have a lot to explain but we can talk when..."

"No."

That one word stopped Jacob, short. I am not a child and I wasn't going to be treated like one.

"What do you mean, no?" Jacob, said, sounding a little angry.

"Jacob, I...I didn't call because I was coming home. I just called because I was feeling a little lonely. I just wanted to hear your voice one more time before I said goodbye."

"Goodbye...Re...Nessie, what are you talking about? You have to come home. I love you. We have a life here. Your whole family is here. Please just tell me where you are."

Listening to him pleading almost broke me. I pushed my face into the pillow to stop the sob threatening in my throat.

"I know what Leah, said Nessie, and I am sorry that you had to find out that way. But it doesn't change anything. I love you. I want to marry you..."

I couldn't listen to anymore of this. I sat up and threw the blanket off of me and stood up from the bed.

"Your right Jacob. It doesn't change the fact that if you hadn't imprinted you would have killed me. Or if My mother hadn't gotten pregnant that you would still be in love with her. Just because some stupid wolf legend forced you to love me instead of my mother, doesn't mean that I have to accept it. I won't let you live like that. I can't."

He didn't respond. The other end of the phone was totally silent.

"Jacob, I know how hard this is. It's hard for me too, but I need to be free. I need to live my life and you deserve to find someone who you aren't forced to love."

I thought for a minute, maybe he would see reason. But...

"I don't want to find someone else. I love you, Nessie. I will always love you. Please just give me another chance."

"I can't," I whispered, as I pressed my forehead against the window.

"Dammit, Nessie. It's not fair to punish me because of the imprint. I don't give a damn what the legends say. I don't love you because I have too. I love you because your sweet and amazing and I can't wait to spend my life with you. I want to marry you, and I want to build you a house with my own two hands. I want..."

"Just stop," I sobbed. I wanted all those things too, but I knew it wasn't going to happen.

"Nessie, please just listen to me for a minute..."

"No," I interrupted. "It's my turn to talk Jacob. And I only have one question."

"Anything, Nessie. You can ask me anything."

Somehow I didn't think he would feel the same way after the question.

"I want you to tell me the truth," I said as I watched the people outside going about their day. The world outside continued to bustle as my world continued to fall apart. I closed my eyes again as my forehead rested against the cool glass.

"I need to know Jacob, If you hadn't imprinted on me, would you still be in love with my mother?"

silence.

And, then a sob. Jacob was crying and so was I.

"Don't you see, Jacob?" I asked through the lump in my throat.

"Yes," Jacob said through his tears.

"I understand perfectly, Nessie. I understand how much it hurt inside to be in love with Bella, and know that she didn't choose me. I understand how unbelievably agonizing it felt to stand there and see her in her beautiful wedding dress. It all hurt so much. And then you were born. Nessie, when I thought about killing you, I was in so much pain in that moment. I thought I had just watched your mother die. I wanted someone to blame. I needed someone to pay. And, then I looked into your eyes. You were just a baby, but suddenly all the pain was gone. You made all the pain go away."

I couldn't breath. What was he doing to me? My chest was aching, almost like I could feel his pain.

"Nessie, you need to understand what I am telling you," Jacob said, his voice suddenly clear. "Just because I imprinted on you, doesn't mean that we that we were going to end up in love. Imprinting means that we are connected. I was meant to be in your life in any way that you would have me. I would have been perfectly happy just living the rest of my life as your best friend. You can't punish me for falling in love with you. I wasn't forced to love you, it was my choice. I know you love me too, Nessie. Do you feel that you were forced to love me?"

I thought back on my whole life. It was always so easy and natural with Jacob. Was it really the imprint that brought us together or just fate? Jacob, had loved my mother, but her soul was already promised to another. Maybe it was fate, or god or kismet that my parents were able to beat the odds and have a child, and at the same time give Jacob, happiness. If that was true, then the imprint was secondary to the connection we already had.

"No."

My confusion and anger was starting to clear. I believed him. Of course I believed him, I loved him.

"Please tell me that you believe me Nessie, and that you are ready to come home."

I didn't know what to say. Did I want to go home? The thought turned my stomach a little. I knew what was waiting for me when I got home. My parents, who have probably been worried sick. The family who I missed every day. And, probably the scariest thing waiting for me at home was the...Wedding. I definitely wasn't ready for that.

"I believe you, Jacob, but I don't think I'm ready to come home yet. I need a few days to think and to be alone. I love you, Jacob. I promise everything will work out."

I did love Jacob, and I knew I would go home, but that didn't mean it was going to go back to the way things were before I left.

"Okay, baby." Jacob, said sounding relieved.

"Please tell everyone, who I am sure are listening right now, that I miss them and I love them."

Jacob, chuckled and then sighed.

"Finally I get to talk to you alone," Jacob laughed.

I smiled for the first time in two weeks.

"I can't wait to see you, Nessie. I promise I am going to spend the rest of our lives making this up to you. Once we are married maybe we can take another road trip and you can show me all of the places that you have been."

He sounded so happy. I hated that I was going to break his heart again.

"Jacob?" I whispered, as my eyes slipped closed again.

"yes?"

I took a deep breath and said it fast. Hoping like a band aid, that saying it fast would lessen the pain.

"Jacob, I can't marry you."


End file.
